When the going gets tough....

     Well I hate it when people do this, but I need to vent (aka complain) about some very unpleasantness in my life. (Yes I know I am blessed and my life really isn't that hard, but for the next few minutes it is the end of the world)

     First, and foremost, I miss my Grandma Polly. It seems like without her here the glue that held my life together is becoming dry and cracked. I can feel my family slipping away from me, and I don't know why or what I've done to make it so. When she passed away in February I couldn't comprehend my life without her. She was such a source of joy and sunshine, that now the toll of her absence is finally setting in and my heart breaks every day I realize she truly is gone.

     Second, my new job. As grateful as I am for this job and the semi-stability it offers Jesse and me, it is honestly the biggest pain in my (you know what). My boss is creepy and pushy and two of my co-workers are the men that can't comprehend that a woman can come up with a better more efficient way of doing things than them. I am constantly getting in trouble, or chastised for something I've said or done. And for those that know me, we all know I can't keep my mouth shut, and it has caused some problems at this new establishment.
     I have convinced my boss that me ignoring him is me showing him the respect he deserves and trying to stay professional in the workplace. I always feel bad I have done this, until he comes over to talk to me about nothing important and I realize how grateful I am that he doesn't catch on to my avoiding gazes. There is one co-worker that is my only joy at this job. He is very laid back and go-with-the-flow mentality and is really a nice guy to work with.

     Alright, I'm going to cut myself off... Enough complaining about things I can't change. When I was younger I never realized how hard it would be to stay happy. I always thought life was going to be hard, but there would be an answer to everything and the hard decision would be to choose the right decision. Now I realize it is sometimes finding the answers to choose from that is the hardest part. Sometimes I just want to pick up, sell every worldly possession we own, and run away and start over. One day I will look back at these times and laugh.... one day.