And we're back!

Well I have to apologize for my long absence, but it was due to the fact that I had nothing positive to add to the world wide web. However, it is time to break my fast from my blog. Some time has passed and life still is what it is. If you don't want to read negative things, then I'm sorry again. There will be down days and I'll have to write it out and that is what this blog is for. As for an update on my life, nothing has changed. I'm still working, Jesse is still going to school, we still don't have any kids, and life is relatively happy.

I still miss Matt terribly. I know I'm beating a dead horse, but I can't breathe sometimes. I've tried to forget, tried to move on, but he's still missing. Life is different and I don't like this new life. I would do anything to have him back for one day, to tell him I love him, one last time. I went to Arizona this weekend with my mom. It was wonderful, minus the fact that everywhere we turned we were talking about death. Whether it was over Matt, my grandma, or some other family member, death was in the air. I tried to escape, tried to get away mentally, but it was there, waiting for my return.

Sometimes I wish I could get away for a few weeks, lay on some beach in the sun, with no one but myself. I could listen to the wave crash against the sand, and feel the breeze on my face. I don't think I would come back... I can see why people get addicted to fantasy. Whether it be movies, video games, or celebrity watching I can see the lure, the enticement. It is so much easier to deal with this life when you are living a dream.

Well my unorganized ramblings are done with for now. I wanted to let you all know, I'm back, I'm okay, and I'll try my best to keep it upbeat! :) Have a Happy Thursday!!